Divisional championships were this past weekend. Unfortunately, I didn't qualify for Nationals, but I still feel like I did pretty well.
I fenced in the Div II in the morning. Surprisingly, I won my pool. I beat a teammate, 5-2, but she got there late and hadn't warmed up. She is a much better and more experienced fencer than I am. It still helped my confidence a lot though. I won my second pool bout against the girl who ultimately ended up winning the Div C. She was rushing a lot in the morning. I got very lucky getting the first touche, and then we doubled up to 5-4. I lost a bout to a former club mate - she beats me more in pools than I'd like, but what can you do? Some people are just like that. Won the last bout.
Generally, I felt ok while I was fencing. I felt fairly confident. I stayed positive about my bouts (even the one I lost didn't get upset until the end when I actually lost, and even then I shook it off in time for the next bout). I didn't fence my best, but I did enough.
In DEs, I had a bye first round and unfortunately pulled another teammate for my first DE. She is a stronger, more consistent fencer than I am and knocked me out. I don't think I fenced my best in this DE though either. It wasn't horrible, I got some good touches, but I feel like I could have done better. It was generally a frustrating set of DEs - the two teammates that qualified each knocked the other two of us out to advance.
The Div III went better. I was in a very, very tough pool (of the top 5 fencers after pools, 3 were from my pool). I lost my first bout that I could have won. I felt uncomfortable at first, a bit intimidated. I lost to my "nemesis" in pools - she doesn't do much other than stick her arm all the way out and do small disengages. I get frustrated when I fence her, rush a bit, etc. I won the rest of my bouts pretty handily.
I seeded 5th after pools, which was great. Had a bye, and won my first DE handily. I then got knocked out by the nemesis. This one everyone agrees I should have one. I KNOW I'm a better fencer. I just made some stupid, stupid mistakes and was just generally flummoxed at how my bouts with her go. And the killer was that if I'd won that stupid DE, I would've qualified for Div III Nationals. I did feel better to hear that my other team mate (a stronger fencer, and the one who knocked me out in Div II) got beat by this girl as well in the next round. Ugh. We have a plan though - we're going to get a tall girl in our club to fence us by standing still will her arm stuck out doing disengages! We'll figure it out sooner or later. It actually is a good thing for me to do, because I do tend to have difficulty with people that fence like that (it's not just the nemesis).
Despite not qualifying, I feel like I performed quite well. Once I got over the nerves in pool, things went well despite the 2 bouts I lost. I made good decisions and had very good distance in the bouts I won. I played my opponents well and, much to my surprise, got many points on counter attacks. I felt good. I totally floored my coach when he came by during my first DE in Div III, asked how I was doing, and I told him I felt good and I felt like I was in control of the bout.
Generally, in the last two weeks, I feel as though I turned a corner in my training. This is the first tournament where I seeded very high after pools. Final results aren't up yet, but I'm guessing I ended up in a decent position (possibly 5th in the Div III, since I made it to the round of 8, and got knocked out b someone seeded above me). I feel like something's just clicked. I don't know if it's a confidence thing or something more (my money is on both). For one thing, I feel like I'm riding the distance better - riding that edge of close enough to bait, retreat and counter without being in too much danger. I'm starting to get a little better recognizing my distance issues and correcting it in practice and bouts. My lesson this past Thursday before the tournament was really good - I was generally much better, much earlier in the lesson (although I did just plain get exhausted at the end! More so than ever before, anyway). So I'm hopeful for the first time in quite a while that I'll finally be able to move to the next level.
Anyway, there is a lot going on lately with work, but also lots going on in fencing. I need to find a way to stay intense with my training for stuff that's coming up. There's a tournament in two weeks I've signed up for. I think several of us are going to make the 5 hr drive up to NC for Sectionals. The top 8 women qualify, and right now there's only 7 signed up (although many more may make toss their hat in the ring), so there may be one last chance to make it to Nationals this summer.
And if not, well, at least I'll have the team event!
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Long hiatus!
Ugh, so very long hiatus here! Not that anyone reads, but whatevs.
To summarize the last 4 or so months - the holidays were pretty crazy with work and travel up to New Hampshire to see family. I got a job offer in mid-January and I had to deal with leaving one firm, horrendous delays in the conflict check/resolution process, and starting a new job in late February.
And fencing kind of sucked - I had a nice mini-break down after coming in nearly last place at a tournament. It was sort of like hitting rock bottom - all of these problems and habits I've been working to change just overwhelmed me. I took a couple of weeks off, and have had a few realizations:
1. I really, really, really, really need to get my head straightened out. A lot of my problems are stemming from mental issues - I put SO much pressure on myself and that is so counterproductive. I need to start loading up my iPod with happy, chill music and listen to it in between bouts to help elevate my mood if a bout doesn't go well, etc. It's sort of hilarious, because when I get pissed at myself for not fencing my best and telling myself I need to do better and that I can do better, I then start getting pissed at myself for getting pissed at myself! Talk about a downward spiral.
2. I need to remember to keep my weapon hand relaxed. I hadn't realized it for quite a while, but I've slowly been tightening my grip on my epee. Once I tighten my hand up, everything else gets tight - my extension disappears, I don't move, I lose point control. The difference is just astounding. I realized it one day in practice this week. I was fencing like crap in practice, and after one particularly bad touch, I just suddenly realized that I had a death-grip on my epee. I relaxed my hand and the entire bout changed. I moved better, my point control was spot on, my disengages, parries and beats were 150% better. I'm talking drastic change.
3. Extension, extension, extension! My counterattacks aren't landing often because I do a wimpy little extension as I retreat. I really need to fully commit to my counters. By not fully committing and not giving a full extension, I'm turning potential single lights or possible double touches into easy touches for my opponent. I need to work on this.
4. I need to be a bit more patient with my coach. If I'm coming to practice after missing a week of fencing, my first practice back is pretty much a wash. I don't move well, extension is bad, etc. So I usually walk into that first day back with the goal of getting moving again, getting some exercise, etc. These are often the days when my coach will tell me during practice bouts to move more, etc. He's absolutely right, but because I've written most of the day off already, I will often wave at him, say "I know, I know" and then go back to fencing. I don't ignore him and I do try to fix things, but I also know that putting expectations on myself on these days are a one-way trip to frustration. I just don't want my coach to feel like I'm waving him off and ignoring him. Far from it - every single thing I need to work on and fix are things that he's been working with me on for months now!
I fenced pretty well in practice last night - still not as consistent as I like, but I'm feeling pretty good right now about recognizing problems (like gripping my epee, or fixing my distance), and I'm getting some decent touches throughout my practice bouts. One more night of practice tonight, with a lesson. Divisional Championships are on Saturday - I'm fencing in both Div II and III. I'm doing my best to just go into it with a calm mind and with little pressure. I know I've had a rough year and have not devoted enough to training to really have any expectations about myself. So I'm going to go in on Saturday to try to have fun. A lot of my favorite people will be there on Saturday so hopefully we'll have some laughs and enjoy the day. And however I place will be however I place.
To summarize the last 4 or so months - the holidays were pretty crazy with work and travel up to New Hampshire to see family. I got a job offer in mid-January and I had to deal with leaving one firm, horrendous delays in the conflict check/resolution process, and starting a new job in late February.
And fencing kind of sucked - I had a nice mini-break down after coming in nearly last place at a tournament. It was sort of like hitting rock bottom - all of these problems and habits I've been working to change just overwhelmed me. I took a couple of weeks off, and have had a few realizations:
1. I really, really, really, really need to get my head straightened out. A lot of my problems are stemming from mental issues - I put SO much pressure on myself and that is so counterproductive. I need to start loading up my iPod with happy, chill music and listen to it in between bouts to help elevate my mood if a bout doesn't go well, etc. It's sort of hilarious, because when I get pissed at myself for not fencing my best and telling myself I need to do better and that I can do better, I then start getting pissed at myself for getting pissed at myself! Talk about a downward spiral.
2. I need to remember to keep my weapon hand relaxed. I hadn't realized it for quite a while, but I've slowly been tightening my grip on my epee. Once I tighten my hand up, everything else gets tight - my extension disappears, I don't move, I lose point control. The difference is just astounding. I realized it one day in practice this week. I was fencing like crap in practice, and after one particularly bad touch, I just suddenly realized that I had a death-grip on my epee. I relaxed my hand and the entire bout changed. I moved better, my point control was spot on, my disengages, parries and beats were 150% better. I'm talking drastic change.
3. Extension, extension, extension! My counterattacks aren't landing often because I do a wimpy little extension as I retreat. I really need to fully commit to my counters. By not fully committing and not giving a full extension, I'm turning potential single lights or possible double touches into easy touches for my opponent. I need to work on this.
4. I need to be a bit more patient with my coach. If I'm coming to practice after missing a week of fencing, my first practice back is pretty much a wash. I don't move well, extension is bad, etc. So I usually walk into that first day back with the goal of getting moving again, getting some exercise, etc. These are often the days when my coach will tell me during practice bouts to move more, etc. He's absolutely right, but because I've written most of the day off already, I will often wave at him, say "I know, I know" and then go back to fencing. I don't ignore him and I do try to fix things, but I also know that putting expectations on myself on these days are a one-way trip to frustration. I just don't want my coach to feel like I'm waving him off and ignoring him. Far from it - every single thing I need to work on and fix are things that he's been working with me on for months now!
I fenced pretty well in practice last night - still not as consistent as I like, but I'm feeling pretty good right now about recognizing problems (like gripping my epee, or fixing my distance), and I'm getting some decent touches throughout my practice bouts. One more night of practice tonight, with a lesson. Divisional Championships are on Saturday - I'm fencing in both Div II and III. I'm doing my best to just go into it with a calm mind and with little pressure. I know I've had a rough year and have not devoted enough to training to really have any expectations about myself. So I'm going to go in on Saturday to try to have fun. A lot of my favorite people will be there on Saturday so hopefully we'll have some laughs and enjoy the day. And however I place will be however I place.
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